Apr 07, 2025
Getting ready for a date is always a mix of anticipation and butterflies, and if you have incontinence, you might have a few extra things on your mind. Should you bring it up? Will it affect intimacy? The good news is that incontinence doesn’t have to hold you back. With a little planning and the right mindset, you can step into date night feeling confident and comfortable.
In this article, we’ll cover practical tips to help you navigate dating and intimacy with ease, so you can focus on building meaningful connections without letting bladder concerns stand in your way.
What is Urinary Incontinence?
Urinary incontinence (UI) is the involuntary loss of bladder control.1 It’s more common than you might think, and it comes in different forms, including:1
- Stress incontinence – Leaks happen when pressure is placed on the bladder, like when you cough, sneeze, or laugh.1
- Urge incontinence – A sudden, intense need to go, sometimes before you can reach a bathroom.1
- Mixed incontinence – A combination of both stress and urge incontinence.1
Common triggers for UI include caffeine, alcohol, spicy foods, or even just a good ol’ belly laugh.1 While UI can feel unpredictable, remember that it’s absolutely manageable. If you’re concerned about handling it in the context of dating and intimacy, rest assured that there are solutions to help you feel in control.
Navigating Dating & Intimacy with Urinary Incontinence
Worried about a leak ruining the moment? You’re not alone. Many people successfully date, find love, and maintain fulfilling relationships while managing UI. The key? A little preparation and a lot of self-confidence.
If you’re concerned about dating with UI, remember: confidence is attractive. Owning your experience and having a game plan can help ease nerves and allow you to focus on enjoying your time with someone special.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Open Communication Matters
Bringing up urinary incontinence in a relationship can feel intimidating, but open communication helps build trust and connection.2 You don’t have to mention it on the first date. But when the time feels right, framing the conversation in a positive way can make all the difference.
On our TENA Can’t Keep It In podcast, we dedicated a full episode to “Love in Every Chapter: Navigating Dating at Any Age.” During the episode , relationship coach and podcast host Aaron Jordan Jr. explains how vulnerability is a natural part of dating. While it might feel uncomfortable at first, having an honest conversation allows you to connect on a deeper level. The right person will appreciate your openness and support you. What matters most is finding someone who respects and understands you.
Watch the full episode here.
How to Prepare for Intimacy When You Have UI
Feeling nervous about intimacy? A little preparation can go a long way in helping you feel at ease:
- Schedule a trip to the restroom3 before intimate moments.
- Avoid bladder irritants like caffeine or alcohol beforehand.3
- Choose protective products for extra confidence.2
- Wear comfortable clothing that makes you feel good.2
Practical Tips for Managing UI During Intimacy
Beyond preparation, there are simple ways to reduce the chances of leaks:
- Try pelvic floor exercises like Kegels to build strength and control.3
- Plan bathroom breaks to stay ahead of urgency.3
- Explore different products and tools for intimacy. Something as simple as waterproof bedding or a bed protector can offer peace of mind and help you feel more at ease.2
Diet & Lifestyle Adjustments to Reduce Bladder Issues
Your diet and daily habits play a key role in bladder health. Certain foods and drinks, like caffeine, alcohol, and acidic foods,1 can irritate the bladder and increase the risk of leaks, so it’s a good idea to avoid them before a date.
Staying hydrated is just as important, as dehydration can actually make symptoms worse. Maintaining a healthy weight and incorporating bladder-friendly exercises, such as pelvic floor workouts, can also help improve control.1
For more tips on managing bladder health through diet and lifestyle, check out these helpful resources:
- Bladder-Friendly Foods & Drinks to Avoid
- What to Eat & Drink for Bladder and Kidney Health
- Essential Tips for Overactive Bladder Care
- Bladder Training Techniques & Treatment
Overcoming Fear & Embarrassment
Dating with urinary incontinence may come with some concerns, but it doesn’t have to overshadow your experience. A fulfilling romantic life is about connection, chemistry, and the qualities that make you unique, whether that’s your kindness, sharp sense of humor, or adventurous spirit.
Embracing a positive mindset and taking small steps, like being prepared with the right products, can help you feel more at ease.2 Many people successfully navigate dating and intimacy with UI, and so can you!
Wear a Protective Pad or Underwear
Worrying about leaks shouldn’t hold you back from enjoying dating and intimacy. TENA offers high-quality incontinence products designed for both men and women, providing discreet protection and all-day comfort. Choosing the right absorbency level ensures confidence, whether you're out for dinner or spending a cozy night in. Testing different products in advance can also help you find the perfect fit for your needs.
Explore TENA’s range of protective underwear and pads to stay comfortable and worry-free:
Shop Men's Incontinence Products
Shop Women's Incontinence Products
You Deserve Love and Connection
Urinary incontinence may be part of your life, but it doesn’t have to stand in the way of romance. With the right strategies, open communication, and a little confidence, you can navigate dating and intimacy with ease. Remember that you bring so much more to the table. So, go out there and enjoy making meaningful connections.
References
1. MayoClinic. ‘Urinary Incontinence- symptoms and causes’. 2023. Available from: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/symptoms-causes/syc-20352808
2. NAFC. ‘6 tips for sex and dating with incontinence’. 2025. Available from: https://nafc.org/bhealth-blog/6-tips-for-sex-dating-with-incontinence/
3. MayoClinic. ‘Urinary Incontinence- Diagnosis and treatment’. 2023. Available from: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352814